Tuesday, 27 February 2018

My family is in denial

In 2012, I started reading books about child molestation, and the only time I read anything like this before was in 2009, when I read Susan Forward's Toxic Parents book. So, until now, I have mainly read books on self-development.

As far as I know, I just lack confidence, my emotions are often out of control, and do not really know what's going on with my life. Then it seems like I happen to be like this and I just need to increase my confidence.

Reach

However, I always question a lot of things and open up new information, so it is undeniable that I will arrive at this stage. Maybe I need to lay some foundations before I'm ready for what's really going on.

At the same time, I can see that my family is unhealthy and I am not always treated with respect and as if I have value. But when I realized this, it was not until I started reading a book about child molestation that it all fell.

Brick wall

Before I started reading these books, I often talked to my mother about what her childhood was like. This is generally a waste of time, though, because I rarely get very far away results.

Occasionally, he will discuss experiences that prove his early years were not very functional and, in others, he would say his childhood was fine. Also, his father (my grandfather) often talks about how his father calls him "good stuff forever", and he will also say how great he is.

It's Not Added

While this is happening, my mother often talks about how bad her father is. From what I heard about him and how my grandfather often behaved, I came to the conclusion that his father was a tyrant, and my mother also often behaved that way.

There are times when he is good and then there are times when he is very cold. I remember there were times when I did not do something and my grandfather said that my mother had to "throw her out".

It's all made sense

I understand that there is a reason why it is so difficult to contact my mother, and that she is far from her need to protect herself. Making the ideal version of his parents stop him from having to deal with his own pain and it stops him from connecting to the fears he experiences with his parents.

If he let go of all these illusions, he might have too much to handle. Yet even though he generally acts as if his childhood is perfect, there are so many signs that it is not so.

Evidence

Of course, of course, how he treated my sister and me as we grew up, and my father often received verbal and emotional abuse. He is also very emotionally unstable and emotionally unstable.

His relationship with his parents is also full of drama, and it is clear that there is a lot of conflict between them. My mother is not interested in reality; He is too caught up in how he believes things.

Extreme Reactions

Also, his brother lives in Australia, and this is the place where he left early in his life. Now, this could be a place where he just wants to go; Again, perhaps he feels the need to go to the other side of the planet to escape all family dramas.

When a person can not handle their feelings, they can try to avoid their feelings by running away. How their feelings can be seen caused by others and away from the person, by cutting them from their lives, then can be a way for them to feel different - this is often described as an emotional piece.

Further evidence

What also supports him is that he also happens to end up with a bad woman while he is there. While my mother, grandparents and I will talk about how evil she is, I think this woman has a lot in common with my mother and grandmother.

It was then that he did not randomly end up with a woman like this; this is something destined to happen. One way to look at it is to say that she ends up with a woman who reminds her of the woman she wants to escape from, or rather, the woman who lives in it.

An option

I know that I have to face what's going on and keep going no matter how I feel. I tried to get my mom to open up and confess what happened, but gradually I saw that I wasted my time and energy.

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